Extremely Funny Jokes, short funny jokes, very really funny jokes, Crazy short Jokes,

Mother and daughter jokes

2011-09-27T02:28:00.001-07:00

Mother: “Did you enjoy your first day at school?”
Girl: “First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?”

Shaddi meri pasand ki ladki se

2011-09-23T21:22:00.001-07:00

Son :- Ammi kya apni pasand ki shaadi karne se ghar wale naraz ho jaate hai ?
Mother :- Beta tu yakinan kisi chudel ke chakkar main aa gaya hai . yah aajkal ki ladkiyan to bas ladkon ko phasane main lagi rehti hai , jahan accha ladka dekha shuru ho gaye , beta in sab se bach ke rehna , yeh bahut makkar hoti hai aur inka to khandaan…..
Son :- Ammi aisa kuch nahi hai . woh to abbu kah rahe the ki aap dono ki shaadi apni pasand se hui thi .

funny jokes to tell for kids

2011-09-21T04:53:00.000-07:00

Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Looks
inside and closes it.

Wife observes the whole episode

Again he comes and does the same stuff.

Wife asks : Why are you doing this?

Sardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly

very very funny jokes on professor sardar

2011-09-21T04:48:00.000-07:00

Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before!

As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in from of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach.

He picked the roach and put it in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran.

He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran.

He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one leg.

He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach could not!

Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".

Crazy sms jokes on sardar

2011-09-21T04:44:00.001-07:00

Two Sardarji were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked, “Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test".
Second one asked, “So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied, “No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying.
The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my drug test."

Crazy jokes for kids

2011-09-21T04:42:00.001-07:00

One day Sardar went to a shop.

Let him go. You do ur job. Always dont expect jokes on him..

Crazy joke of the day

2011-09-21T04:41:00.000-07:00

Prove that 2/10=2
.
.
Japanese student:
Wrong question.
.
.
Pakistan student:
No Way
.
.
American student:
It's strange, how s it possible?
.
.
Santa:
Two/Ten=
wo/en
T wit T cancel.
w= 23rd letter,
o= 15th letter,
/
e= 5th letter
n= 14th letter
So
=23+15/5+14
=38/19
=2
!
India is proud of u santa..

Best Funny Husband Wife Jokes

2010-04-24T02:05:00.000-07:00

Marriage in which one person is always right. And always right and another person is husband.

Husband says to his wife: You will never find man like me.
Wife to husband: What makes you think i need another man like you.

Husband 1: What makes you join army.
Guy 1 2: I loved army and war and had no wife. What about you.
Husband 2: Well i have wife. And i wanted peace. So, i joined Army.

Once Banta was sitting with his wife and eating chicken.
Her wife gave him leg.
After watching this Santa told: If my wife is also here. Then she also give me legs.

Husband asked her wife: Can you survive in this small income.
Wife to husband: Sure i am, what about you?

Wife to husband: If i climb the mount everest what you will do???
Husband: Push.

Once husband and wife had fight. And they are not talking to each other.
Husband left one note in his table. Besides we had a fight. Woke me up at 5.
Next day husband woke up at 8. And note was there on the table.
Wake up it is 5 O clock.

Husband to wife: Will you re marry. If i die.
Wife: I will live with my sister.
Wife to husband: Will you re marry. If i die.
Husband: I will live with your sister.

Husband to wife: I invited my friend for lunch.
Wife: What the whole home is in mesh.
Husband: I wanted to show him all this. because he wanted to marry.

Wife: I am fat, ugly and wrinkles.Will you still going to give compliments to me?
Husband: Your eye sight is still excellent.

Husband was crying on his ex husbands grave why??
His friend asked why you are crying?
Because his ex husband ruined his life.

Wife: If i dismiss the cook and make food for you for month. Will you pay me??
Husband to wife: Sure my life insurance will pay you.

Wife: How much you love me?
Husband to wife: I can drink even your poison also. If you don't trust test me in evening.

Husband and wife had enough fight and after wife was very angry and told. I am going to my parents house and give you a divorce.
Husband to wife: Don't try to please me talking sweets things.

Funny Santa Banta One Liner Jokes

2010-03-10T10:01:00.000-08:00

Santa married: He asked her wife.
Dear do you think we able to survive in such a small income?
Wife: I can, but what will you live on?

Santa singh: Why no you watering the garden?
Servent: Sir, it is raining.
Santa singh: So what take umbrella and go.

Santa singh got baby after 15 years of his marriage.
Banta singh: Why you are soo sad?
Santa singh: after 15 years the baby is soo small.

Banta singh asked to santa singh: What will you advice to your children about marriage?
Santa singh: I will never marry in my life and same adive will give to my childrens.

Santa Singh and Banta singh saw auto in his life first time.
Banta singh: Look how small is tanga.
Santa singh: And looks like donkey is sitting on front seat.

Teacher: What is short form of Maximum.
Santa: Mini dad.

Ek sardar: was selling some fruits.
Customer: If i find any insect in fruits then?
Sardar: I will take separate money for that.

Santa is now 60 years old.
He placed bulb instead of candles on cake.
Banta singh: Why you not using candles.
Santa singh: Because it was difficult to add 60 candles. Thats why i added 60 watt bulb.

Sardar ji: Any body has problem with my words?
One person said: I have problem.
Sardarji: You go out. Now any one has any problem.

Santa throwing butter out of window. Why?
Because he wanted to see butterfly.

Most difficult question of the world and santa singh found the answer.
Question: Who came first Egg or child?
Santa singh: Any thing you order first.

Santa took money from his ATM card.
Banta singh: I saw your password.
Santa singh: tell me the password?
Banta singh: it was in astertic stars.
Santa singh: No it was 3465.

Santa and banta USA ke ek church me gaye.
Suddenly ghata baja and light chali gayi.
Santa: Banta bhag undertaker aa gaya.

Banta to santa: Your friend is kissing your wife.
Santa rushed to his home.
half an hour later he came and slpped banta: He is not my friend.

One english men asked sardarji: How do you do?
Sardarji: We open and do the do.

Santa singh: What is meaning of "I Love You"
Girl: Mai tumshe pyaar karti hu.
Santa singh: Are tu to mujshe pyaar kar bhethi pagali.

Santa singh was the true music lover.
When her girlfriend was in bathroom. He was listening from the keyhole.

Santa was taking grammer class.
If more then one mouse is mice then more then two spouse is spice.

Santa: Waiter ek mast chai pila do jo hila ke rakh de.
Waiter: We have cows milk not rakhi sawant milk.

Santa proposed to girl i love you.
Girl showed her sleepers.
Santa: Sorry i don't kne that you are deaf.

Santa singh: I got married because i was tired of making food, cleaning.
banta singh: I got divorce for the same.

Santa took a loan for bike and bank took away because he was unable to pay.
Santa if i had knew this before. I might had taken for my wife too.

Banta: Baba meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai.
Koi upaay batao?
Santa sadhu: Beta koi upay hota to mai sadhu kyo banta?

Banta singh: can you stop barking our dog in backyard?
Santa simple: Put it into front yard.

Sardarji aapke dost ki death ho gayi aap aaye kyo nahi?
Usne mujhe bulaya hi nahi.

Why banta was writing exam in door.
because it was entrance door.

Banta: Tell 3 fastest means of communications?
Santa: Telephone, TV, And Tell a women.

How you recognize banta son in school.
Teacher was erazsing board and he was erasing his note book.

Lady lipton di chai hai?
Banta: mujhe to nahi hai. Par tujhe lipat ne di chah hai to lipat jao.

Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chaoge?
Birla cement because cement me jaan hai.

Banta calls to customer care of Air india.
How much time it will take to reach from delhi to amritsar.
Operator: Just a sec sir.
Banta: Thank you.

Santa: Bacha mujhe wo ladki mere piche padi hai.
Banta: Kyo?
Santa: Jab se usse kaha, Dil cheer ke dikha du..tera hi naam hoga
Tab se chaaku le kar piche padi hai.

Satna: Mai bol raha hu.
Banta: Kamal hai itha vi mai bol raha hu.

Post man; I have to come 10km to deliver this.
Banta: Why you came here. You can post this..

Short One Liner Jokes

2010-02-21T09:53:00.000-08:00

Women and childrens
Should women have childrens after 35?
No, 35 childrens are more then enough.

Girls and numbers
Girls are 70% beautiful
Girls are 75% sweet
Girls are 80% sexy
girls are 85% naughty
girls are 90% hot
Girls are 100% lovely
Total 70+75+80+85+90+100 = 420

Husband and wife
Husband to wife: which book you like most?
I like cheque book most.

Waiter and husband
Waiter to customer: Do you like black coffee?
Customer: Which other colour you have?

Girlfriend to boyfriend
Girlfriend: Are you sure you love me?
Boyfriend: Ya, sure i checked the whole list yesterday.

Father drives cars
Boy 1: My father drive car so fast that some people fly away.
Bot 2: My father drive car so fast that all people run away.
Boy 3: My father drives car so fast that " car is in garage and he is in hospital"

Car drives at high speed
Once santa was driving car at 80. After accident he is in ambulance at speed 160.

Work
For whom you work?
For my boss, wife and childrens.

Birthday present
What you want on your birthday? Father asked to boy
Nothing much a radio with sports car.

My father was soo old that history called as present affair.

Teacher and student
If you stop man from beating his donkey. Then what you will say them? Teacher asked to his student.
Student: Brotherly love sir.

Premi premika
Premika premi se: Mai maa banane wali hu?
Premi: Tum thik to ho?
Premika: Haa, mai tumhare dad se shaadi karke tumhari maa banane wali hu.

Drunk in court
Drunk were hauled in court. You are here for drinking.
Drunker: Awesome when we start the next session of drinking sir.

What can you do? Which other people cann't do?
I can read my writing.

Once santa parked his vehicle on fine for parking board.

Once sardarji started washing the basin why??
Because it was written wash basin.

Funny Sardar Jokes And Jokes In Hindi

2009-12-14T09:52:00.000-08:00

Sardar ji and girlfriend:
Sardar Ji: Ek baar sardar ji ne apni girl friend ko call kar kaha. Mere ghar par koi nahi hai. Tum aa jao.
Sardar Ji ki girl friend shaam ko ghar aati hai. To use koi nahi milta.ooh...Ye sarad ji bhi na.

Sardarji ad in paper:
Sardar ji ne kahi pad liya ki paper me ad dene ke natije bahut jaldi mil jate hai.
Unhone agle din paper me ad de diya. Ki unhe night watchman ki jarurat hai.
usi raat ko unke ghar me chori ho gayi.

Do sardar:
Ek baar ek sardar ne dusre sardar se kaha: me bachpan me 10th floor se gira tha.
Dusra sardar: to bacha ki nahi?
Pehla sardar: pata nahi yaar..yaad nahi.

Sardar ji in Interview:
question: Sarda ji ye ford kya hai?
sardarji: Ford gaddi hai.
Question: Oxford kya hai?
Sardarji: Ox means bail and ford meand gaddi..means bullcart..bailgaddi.

Sardaji and jinn
Jinn mago kya mangana hai?
Sardar ji: i want to be rich.
Jinn: sardar rich ban gaya.
Sardar: Mujhe Amreican bannana hai.
Jinn: ban gaya.
Sardar: Mujhe binna dimag lagaye amir banana hai.
Jinn: use vapas sardar banna deta hai.

Sardar ji train driver:
train ek baar keht me itdar udar chali jati hai phir vapas track par aa jati hai.
Sabhi passenger dar jate hai.
baad me pata chalta hai ki train driver sardar hai.
Sardarji Tumne train keht me kyo utari?
Sir ji ek aadmi track par khada tha.
Sir: to tumne ek aadmi ke liyte, itne aadmiyo ki jaan. khatre me daali?
Nahi sir wo keto me bhaag gaya tha to mene gaddi useke phiche laga di.

Sardar ji and gadha
Sardar ji ka gadha kho gaya.
Shaam ko sardar ji: bhagvan to thanks kar rahe the.
Wife of sardar: Gadha kho gaya aur tum khus ho?
Sardar ji: Acha hua mai us par nahi betha tha jab wo kho gaya.

Sardar laughing
Ek baar ek truck dusre ko khich raha tha.
Sardar lot pot ho rahe the.
Kisi ne puch kya hua sardar ji?
Sardar Ji: Ek ko kiche ke liye 2-2.

Sardar ji and machli
Agar machli ko marna ho to kaise maroge?
Sardar in class: pani me dubo kar.

Sardar in Exam
Expand this (X+Y)
Sarda ji: ( X + Y ).

Sardar ji and traffic police
Sardar ji wrong side par gaddi le jate hai.
Traffic police: tumhe pata hai tum kaha gaddi dal rahe ho??
Sardar ji: jaha bhi dal raha hu..badi buri jagah hai. sab log waha se bhag rahe hai.

Jokes On Sardar And Santa Banta Jokes

2009-12-13T04:44:00.000-08:00

Sardar ki wife: Inspector mera husband ek hafte pehle sabji lene gaye the, abhi tak nahi aye.
Sardar inspector: Behan kuch aur paka lo.

Judge: tumne apni biwi ko kyo maar diya aur uske lover ko kyo nahi mara?
Sardar: Sirji har saptah kisi ko marne se ek bar marna acha hai.

Santa ek ladki ko dekh kar: Wow kya ladki hai yaar. ek dum item.
Banta: Item se yaad aaya bhabhi ji kaisi hai?

Sardar: Bar bar wo sugar ka dabaa kolta aut band karta, uski biwi tv dekh rahi thi.
Biwi sardar se: Tum ye kya kar rahe ho?
Sardar biwi se: Doctor ne sugar level check karne kop kaha hai.

Santa aur banta dono mumbai pahuch kar doble dekar bus me chad jate hai.
Santa upar neeche sit bar beth jata hai. But banta ko upar sit milti hai. Niche bhid jyada thi.
Jab bus me koi khali hoti hai to santa bants se milne jata hai. banta looking scared.
Santa yara itna dara hu kyu hai?
banta tere pass driver tha mere pass nahi.

Santa banta se: rat ko maine ek bhutia movie dekhi usme ek bhutani mere aage phiche chal rahi thi.
bant santa se: Kon si yara?
Santa banta se: Wo hi sadi wali video.

Ek Baat ek sardar aur 9 log ek train accident ke bad rope se latak rahe hote hai.
But rope tut rahi thi.
Ek aadmi ne kaha sathiyo hum me se kisi ek ko yaha se niche kudna hoga. Nahi to hum sab mare jayenge.
Un sab me ek ladki bhi thi
Jab koi nahi bola to ladki ne kaha me niche kudungi.
Suddenly sardar ji starts clapping.

Santa Banta donno fishing karne jate hai rent ki boat par. Us din unke pass bahut sari fishes aa jati hai.
Unki boat kiraye par li hui thi.
Banta santa se: Is jagah par nishan laga lo. hum kal fishing karne yahi par aayenge.
Bad me jab santa banta se: Tune nishan lagaya:
Banta santa se: Ha yara boat ke niche bahut bada lagaya.
Santa Banta se: Are fool agar wo boat kal rent par nahi mili to?

Sardar ji ek bar plane me ja rahe the chandigardh. Unhe middle seat mili thi. Par wo window seat par beth gaye.
Ek lady aayi aur unko kaha. Sardar ji uth jao ye, meri seat hai.
Sardr ji nahi mai nahi utunga. Mujhe bahar dekhna hai.
Lady ne airhostess ko bulaya par wo nahi mane.
Airhostess ne captain ko bulaya.
Captain ne kaha tab nhi wo nahi mane.
Finally captain ne unko kann me kuch kaha. Sardar ji turant middle seat par beth gaye.
Airhostess captain se sir ji aapne kya kaha?
Captian: Maine sardar ji ko kaha ki middle seat chandigardh jayegi baki sab ludiyana.

Sardar ji ek bar cinema dekhne gaye. Godjilla lagi hui thi.
Sardar ji seat ke niche chip gaye.
Yaar tu seat ke niche kyo chip gaya, ye to sirf cinema hai.
Sardar ji: Par hum aadmi hai, hume pata hai par unhe kya pata wo to janwar hai.

Computer teacher sardar ji se: Turn on the computer.
Sardar ji: kar diya.
Computer teacher: Click on my computer.
Sarda ji: Are aapka computer kaha hai?

Sardar santa singh ek restraunt me masal dosa khate hai. par wo masal khate hai dosa nahi khate.
uske bad wo samosa order karte hai par sir aloo kahet hai bahar ka nahi khate.
Waiter sir aapko andar ka pasand nahi hai.
Sardar ji: Nahi doctor ne mujhe bahar ka khane se mana kiya hai.

Santa singh to shopkeeper: mera free gift kaha hai.
Shopkeeper: iske saath koi gift nahi hai.
Santa singh: Is par likha hai colestrol free.

Sardar ji: Donno kan jal jate hai.
Doctor: kya hua aapko?
Sardar ji: jab iron kar raha tha tab kisi ka call aya tab iron ke bajaye maine iron kan me kaga liya.
Doctor: what but what about your other ear.
Sardar ji: i tried to call back that idiot.

Santa singh to her doctor: mujhe sab jagah lagi hai.
Doctor: kya matlab sab jagah?
Santa: It hurts.
Doctor: touch his chicks, hand, legs.
Santa: It hurts oouch...
Doctor took his X ray. You have broken finger.