Monday, December 14, 2009

Funny Sardar Jokes And Jokes In Hindi

Sardar ji and girlfriend:
Sardar Ji: Ek baar sardar ji ne apni girl friend ko call kar kaha. Mere ghar par koi nahi hai. Tum aa jao.
Sardar Ji ki girl friend shaam ko ghar aati hai. To use koi nahi milta.ooh...Ye sarad ji bhi na.

Sardarji ad in paper:
Sardar ji ne kahi pad liya ki paper me ad dene ke natije bahut jaldi mil jate hai.
Unhone agle din paper me ad de diya. Ki unhe night watchman ki jarurat hai.
usi raat ko unke ghar me chori ho gayi.

Do sardar:
Ek baar ek sardar ne dusre sardar se kaha: me bachpan me 10th floor se gira tha.
Dusra sardar: to bacha ki nahi?
Pehla sardar: pata nahi yaar..yaad nahi.

Sardar ji in Interview:
question: Sarda ji ye ford kya hai?
sardarji: Ford gaddi hai.
Question: Oxford kya hai?
Sardarji: Ox means bail and ford meand gaddi..means bullcart..bailgaddi.

Sardaji and jinn
Jinn mago kya mangana hai?
Sardar ji: i want to be rich.
Jinn: sardar rich ban gaya.
Sardar: Mujhe Amreican bannana hai.
Jinn: ban gaya.
Sardar: Mujhe binna dimag lagaye amir banana hai.
Jinn: use vapas sardar banna deta hai.

Sardar ji train driver:
train ek baar keht me itdar udar chali jati hai phir vapas track par aa jati hai.
Sabhi passenger dar jate hai.
baad me pata chalta hai ki train driver sardar hai.
Sardarji Tumne train keht me kyo utari?
Sir ji ek aadmi track par khada tha.
Sir: to tumne ek aadmi ke liyte, itne aadmiyo ki jaan. khatre me daali?
Nahi sir wo keto me bhaag gaya tha to mene gaddi useke phiche laga di.

Sardar ji and gadha
Sardar ji ka gadha kho gaya.
Shaam ko sardar ji: bhagvan to thanks kar rahe the.
Wife of sardar: Gadha kho gaya aur tum khus ho?
Sardar ji: Acha hua mai us par nahi betha tha jab wo kho gaya.

Sardar laughing
Ek baar ek truck dusre ko khich raha tha.
Sardar lot pot ho rahe the.
Kisi ne puch kya hua sardar ji?
Sardar Ji: Ek ko kiche ke liye 2-2.

Sardar ji and machli
Agar machli ko marna ho to kaise maroge?
Sardar in class: pani me dubo kar.

Sardar in Exam
Expand this (X+Y)
Sarda ji: (     X       +       Y      ).

Sardar ji and traffic police
Sardar ji wrong side par gaddi le jate hai.
Traffic police: tumhe pata hai tum kaha gaddi dal rahe ho??
Sardar ji: jaha bhi dal raha hu..badi buri jagah hai. sab log waha se bhag rahe hai.

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Sunday, December 13, 2009

Jokes On Sardar And Santa Banta Jokes

Sardar ki wife: Inspector mera husband ek hafte pehle sabji lene gaye the, abhi tak nahi aye.
Sardar inspector: Behan kuch aur paka lo.

Judge: tumne apni biwi ko kyo maar diya aur uske lover ko kyo nahi mara?
Sardar: Sirji har saptah kisi ko marne se ek bar marna acha hai.

Santa ek ladki ko dekh kar: Wow kya ladki hai yaar. ek dum item.
Banta: Item se yaad aaya bhabhi ji kaisi hai?

Sardar: Bar bar wo sugar ka dabaa kolta aut band karta, uski biwi tv dekh rahi thi.
Biwi sardar se: Tum ye kya kar rahe ho?
Sardar biwi se: Doctor ne sugar level check karne kop kaha hai.

Santa aur banta dono mumbai pahuch kar doble dekar bus me chad jate hai.
Santa upar neeche sit bar beth jata hai. But banta ko upar sit milti hai. Niche bhid jyada thi.
Jab bus me koi khali hoti hai to santa bants se milne jata hai. banta looking scared.
Santa yara itna dara hu kyu hai?
banta tere pass driver tha mere pass nahi.

Santa banta se: rat ko maine ek bhutia movie dekhi usme ek bhutani mere aage phiche chal rahi thi.
bant santa se: Kon si yara?
Santa banta se: Wo hi sadi wali video.

Ek Baat ek sardar aur 9 log ek train accident ke bad rope se latak rahe hote hai.
But rope tut rahi thi.
Ek aadmi ne kaha sathiyo hum me se kisi ek ko yaha se niche kudna hoga. Nahi to hum sab mare jayenge.
Un sab me ek ladki bhi thi
Jab koi nahi bola to ladki ne kaha me niche kudungi.
Suddenly sardar ji starts clapping.

Santa Banta donno fishing karne jate hai rent ki boat par. Us din unke pass bahut sari fishes aa jati hai.
Unki boat kiraye par li hui thi.
Banta santa se: Is jagah par nishan laga lo. hum kal fishing karne yahi par aayenge.
Bad me jab santa banta se: Tune nishan lagaya:
Banta santa se: Ha yara boat ke niche bahut bada lagaya.
Santa Banta se: Are fool agar wo boat kal rent par nahi mili to?

Sardar ji ek bar plane me ja rahe the chandigardh. Unhe middle seat mili thi. Par wo window seat par beth gaye.
Ek lady aayi aur unko kaha. Sardar ji uth jao ye, meri seat hai.
Sardr ji nahi mai nahi utunga. Mujhe bahar dekhna hai.
Lady ne airhostess ko bulaya par wo nahi mane.
Airhostess ne captain ko bulaya.
Captain ne kaha tab nhi wo nahi mane.
Finally captain ne unko kann me kuch kaha. Sardar ji turant middle seat par beth gaye.
Airhostess captain se sir ji aapne kya kaha?
Captian: Maine sardar ji ko kaha ki middle seat chandigardh jayegi baki sab ludiyana.

Sardar ji ek bar cinema dekhne gaye. Godjilla lagi hui thi.
Sardar ji seat ke niche chip gaye.
Yaar tu seat ke niche kyo chip gaya, ye to sirf cinema hai.
Sardar ji: Par hum aadmi hai, hume pata hai par unhe kya pata wo to janwar hai.

Computer teacher sardar ji se: Turn on the computer.
Sardar ji: kar diya.
Computer teacher: Click on my computer.
Sarda ji: Are aapka computer kaha hai?

Sardar santa singh ek restraunt me masal dosa khate hai. par wo masal khate hai dosa nahi khate.
uske bad wo samosa order karte hai par sir aloo kahet hai bahar ka nahi khate.
Waiter sir aapko andar ka pasand nahi hai.
Sardar ji: Nahi doctor ne mujhe bahar ka khane se mana kiya hai.

Santa singh to shopkeeper: mera free gift kaha hai.
Shopkeeper: iske saath koi gift nahi hai.
Santa singh: Is par likha hai colestrol free.

Sardar ji: Donno kan jal jate hai.
Doctor: kya hua aapko?
Sardar ji: jab iron kar raha tha tab kisi ka call aya tab iron ke bajaye maine iron kan me kaga liya.
Doctor: what but what about your other ear.
Sardar ji: i tried to call back that idiot.

Santa singh to her doctor: mujhe sab jagah lagi hai.
Doctor: kya matlab sab jagah?
Santa: It hurts.
Doctor: touch his chicks, hand, legs.
Santa: It hurts oouch...
Doctor took his X ray. You have broken finger.

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